You're either a Toe or a Kick

Animals in suits watching the Earth and monitoring their species? Crazy.

The thing is if I take responsibility for my life it means that I'm in the place I'm in because of what I've done. There's no getting around it. If I leave out luck and chance then it's all my fault. So saying that who would trust me? Whether it was a woman or a job? Are you afraid to change because it will mean that everything before was meaningless? If you moved to some warmer climate and became a writer living a cliche life would that make you happy? Not really having a permanent job or getting a steady paycheck. Living a life of leisure and riding your bike around and maybe living on a boat? How would you even pay for the boat? And anyway is the eventual decay of your body going to make this possible? And what's this obsession lately with sex? Is it because you were never the man you wanted to be? As they say being a man other men want to be like and women want to fuck. And what if Jesus is the answer? They try to cram that in at every opportunity. Do I just not have the stomach or spine for spiritual growth? What's my problem with it? I might have to give up a few things? That's probably it. I've always felt deprived so giving up the little I do have seems to be an obstacle I can't overcome. I don't even know what I'd be giving up though.

Am I going to wear myself down in a menial job because I carry all this baggage and am afraid to be good at something and take it seriously? You can't climb Everest all at once but if you never leave base camp you'll never climb it either.

I've tried to do what you're supposed to. Worked as hard as I could. In my case sometimes it wasn't very hard. Other times it was.